For many people, the afterlife is the great unknown; something to be feared. Some maintain they will simply cease to exist after death, although most believe in some kind of afterlife. The tone of a memorial service may vary depending on what kind of afterlife vision was held by the deceased and/or the family. When there is no belief in an afterlife, there may be references to the way our loved one lives on in our memories, but I have to admit, this kind of service leaves me feeling empty. I think it is rare that everyone who attends a funeral will share the same belief, and it's a good idea to address this spectrum in the service.
A couple of years ago I conducted a service for a deceased atheist where I said:
"Aaron did not believe in an afterlife, but he does live on in memory, and some of us here believe that he got a big surprise when he woke up on Thursday morning and discovered that he’d been reunited with his deceased loved ones in a beautiful new world."
Even among those who believe that death is the beginning of a new life, there are probably as many different visions of this existence as there are believers. Our images of Heaven, Paradise, the Other Side, the hereafter, or the afterlife can only exist in our imagination. Well, unless you're among those who have had a near death experience and actually saw the place where you'll end up when you die for good.
I have read about many of these NDEs in books such as Life After Life by Dr. Raymond Moody, What Tom Sawyer Learned from Dying by Sidney Saylor Farr, and numerous others including some by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. While reading these stories has strengthened my belief in the afterlife, the variations have convinced me that the life to come will not be the same for everyone.
The afterlife that each person experiences will probably vary according to the life led and beliefs held while we are in a physical body. Tom Sawyer was an atheist who, while clinically dead, was met by a Light Being that loved him unconditionally. After his return to this life, Sawyer never again questioned the existence of God and the purposefulness of his life - to share his experience with others and tell us how important it is to love.
Common elements of the NDE are the tunnel that leads to a White Light full of love, and the meeting of deceased loved ones along the way. But the tunnel and the family greeters do not appear in every experience, and I have read of some NDEs in which the teller actually met demons. These stories have not convinced me that Hell, as a place of eternal damnation, exists. My thought is that the demons exist on the astral plane which many people pass through before they progress to higher planes.
Perhaps the astral plane is the equivalent of the Roman Catholic Purgatory where souls go to be purified before they can enter the gates of Heaven. This concept brings me to a big difference between Catholic and Protestant beliefs. In the Protestant churches I have attended for many years, there is no concept of Purgatory, and praying to or for the deceased is not an approved practice. On the other hand, Catholics pray for their departed loved ones, especially if they think someone is in Purgatory and needs prayers to get to heaven. And if the departed loved one is believed to be in heaven, a Catholic may pray to that person, whereas a Protestant never prays to anyone other than God or Jesus.
This is one of the places where I have parted ways with Protestant churches. The taboo against contact with the departed may exacerbate the grief that we already feel when someone dies. Many people comfort themselves by talking to the deceased, whether or not they receive a response. I know people who have seen and/or heard the spirits of their departed loved ones. If such contact was truly against "the rules," I don't think it would be allowed to occur.
While I have expressed some of my own ideas in this article, I think that we need to be sensitive to the fact that there are countless viewpoints about the afterlife and not push our own ideas onto others. I would like this to be an open forum for readers to share their own thoughts and beliefs. I welcome comments!
